You just never know...

Friday night I was over at a dear friend's house with other very, very dear friends, doing what we do best; cooking, eating, drinking, talking and discussing. We always have a great time together - always. Laughs abound.

We were all sadly touched by the tragic murder of a friend of ours. Ezri.

Ezri was not someone I knew well, in fact, I knew him and socialized with him through another friend, Andrew who was sharing his home with Ezri for the time being.

Ezri, it turns out to be, was in the wrong place at the wrong time. This hurts. This is so, so sad. I know this happens all over the world everyday in every unimaginable way, but when it hits home - it hurts you.

Naturally our conversation came around to Ezri and the events of the week. He is remembered fondly, often, happily, sincerely by many, many people. With Facebook connections, I had no idea how many people I knew, knew him. All the comments are sincere condolances of "missing a dear friend"...." May you forever rest in peace, Ezri. You will be missed.

Which brings me to the topic of " You just never know..."

We don't. We don't know. Wish we could. With all of the astrology, tarot, palm reading and ouija board technology put together, but we just don't know. We don't know what will/will not happen, when it may, what if, etc. All of us agreed that one needs to make the best of one's time on this earth, because you just don't know. We batted this topic around for a couple of innings and eventually it turned to ENCOURAGEMENT. We all began to encourage each other in the talents we have all seen in each other:

"You really should __________________ you're so good at it",

"Well, you need to pick up the________________again. You are marvelous when you play".

"I've read some of your stories, keep writing".

"I know, I just don't _________________".

"I would if ________________________".

Fill in the blanks with whatever works for you and/or any damn excuse you can think of which NONE of them make any sense.

And I'm talking to ME. I HAVE NO EXCUSES.

I have all of the encouragement anyone could ask for. I have the support of Dennis. I have the prodding of my friends. And most of all, I have myself to answer to. I have the time, the resourses and I have no excuses.

What do I want to do about this? Run out and save the world? Step in Mother Teresa's shoes?No. But, I will write on this blog at least twice a week. Observations, gripes, praises, gnashing of teeth and soothing of the brow. Whatever. Just write something. I will paint more pictures - my way. I will read. I will find work I enjoy, damn it!! I will not waste time. And I will always take a camera with me on my walks. You never know.

I'm putting this out in writing to myself. I will open myself up to me and put away fears as best I can for that day. I will be honest as I can be with myself that day. I do not want to hurt anyone's feeling, but I will say things that are on my mind if I so wish, in my fashion, and apologize not. I have the blessings from the universe. I have me. I have the support, the love and heart of a special person.

We will see what marvelous things come to me. You will hear about it here first.